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Joke of the Day

"When I was 6, Santa gave me coal for Christmas, so the next year I decided to get back at him and poison his cookies. Somehow, the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"What does supervillain Black Man need to do to escape the crime scene? Turn off all the lights."

"My new year resolution is 1024x768."

"Why won't men perform oral on women the morning after sex? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Whats the last thing that goes through a fly's brain before it hits my car windshield? Its arse."

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off"

"Mcdonalds will be serving a new burger which you cant touch. Its called the Mchammer."

"Sad news about the Michelin Man.. He's retyred.."

"After thinking about how bad the average person is at math I've realized that about 75% of people are worse."

"Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup."