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Joke of the Day

"Someone's only cute till they leave one of your texts on read."

"It's colder than a well digger's ass."

"What kind of dreams do dustmites have? .............. Mitemares"

"Turns out it wasn't vertigo causing me to run into things, it was vodka."

"Immediately after giving birth to me my mom was charged with crimes against humanity"

"You'd think with all the hiking Dora the Explorer does, she'd be thinner."

"Chicken walks in to a bar... It's full of Roosters. Chicken says, ""I crossed the road for this?"""

"Cash grant After helping his mom over the weekend, a boy receives a $50 bill from his mom as a reward. He goes to school on Monday and declares: ""I just got a cash Grant!"" wa..wa..waaaaaa"

"When my Internet is down for more than 2 minutes, I assume Western civilization has collapsed so I start looting."

"All the good ones are taken. All the funny ones are fat. All the smart ones are ugly. All the ones with all of the above are fictional."