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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the first stoplight say to the second stoplight? A: Don't look I'm changing!!"

"How did Paul McCartney get Linda pregnant? C Moon"

"I was on a first date. ""How many women have you slept with?"" she asked. I said, ""Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten?"" ""Oh, I say. Go on then."" she laughed. I said, ""0."""

"Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It's pasteurized before you can even see it."

"What do you called an unemployed Jamaican? Jah Bless"

"If it wasn't for morning television where would these forgotten musicians perform their 1992 hit singles?"

"What do you call a cannibal who only eats comatose people? A vegetarian."

"Did you hear the one about the Mexican train bandit? He had locomotives."

"Kissing 101: 1. Open your mouth 2. Wider, that's it. 3. Stick out your tongue 4. Then walk towards her and pray she doesn't run away."

"I like to show my girlfriend who's boss in our house by holding a mirror up to her face."