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Joke of the Day

"Us guys like to be held too. Just, you know, lower. Lowwwwwerrrrrrrr."

"Did you hear about the narcoleptic hair stylist? He dyed in his sleep."

"*dad walks up to me stroking his beard* son, where do we keep the dog treats again? Im hun- *beard falls off revealing my dog. he runs away*"

"Infants don't have nearly as much fun in infancy as adults have in adultery."

"I was trying to catch some fog earlier... I mist."

"The main reason that Santa is so jolly ... is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

"Why can you never trust someone that needs to go to the toilet? Because they're full of shit"

"My daughter told me she wanted a puppy for Christmas... I told her ""you're eating turkey like everyone else""."

"why doctorates are better then MBBS, the pee HD"

"Why should you never date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them."