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Joke of the Day

"A sandwich walks into a bar The bartender stares at it blankly and says, ""I'm sorry, we don't serve food."""

"What do you call an Ewok who just ate pancakes? A sticky Wicket."

"[creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very"

"The four states of matter: Solid Liquid Gas Black"

"I know 5 people who are clinically insane I'm two of them..."

"What's the difference between a 6 month old and a 20 year old? About 6 garbage bags and 30 gallons of formaldehyde."

"What does R. Kelly tell little girls on Halloween? Urine for a treat!"

"I thought of this joke while at work today, tell me what you think! Why can't two jealous people talk on the phone together? It is always an insecure line!"

"Hillary Clinton walks into a bar. Bartender: What'll it be, Secretary Clinton? Hillary: Let me see what polls best among my focus groups."

"I saved a girl from getting raped last night.. .. I stayed home and jacked off"