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Joke of the Day
"Before I had kids I was going to be an awesome mom."
Next Joke
"Never understand when someone says, ""cats are snobby."" Like dogs are constantly inviting you & the kids over for burgers & a swim?"
"I love when people tell me to get my act together and I'm like who the hell is acting geez."
"What do you call a penis with a doorbell? A ding dong."
"What do you call a cow that starts it's own nudie magazine? Hugh Heifer"
"Have you heard of the book about airplane factories? It's riveting."
"2 Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine, both in hospital...one's in a korma.."
"Back off, doc. I'll close this wound. Suture self."
"Relationships are a two way street navigated by women who are backseat drivers and men who refuse to use maps."
"So my car broke down My mechanic said it was obvious I'd blown a seal. I said keep my private life out of it and just fix the damn car!"