231391

Joke of the Day

"Got an IPad from my chinese friend... Nothing beats homemade gifts."

"scientist: he's going to be identical to you in every way me: every way? [my clone trips stepping out of the machine] holy shit"

"A magical tractor is driving down a road... and turns into a field."

"Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson? Because he'd already done the sharps and flats."

"Spider Island Day 1: The arachnids are intelligent & friendly hosts. They even built me a hammock to ensure my comfort. Day 2: I was wrong."

"What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells"

"My phone just ""autocorrected"" the word 'Dicks' to the word 'Sucks'... Yeah. it gets it."

"FREE NUDE SHOW: Walk into a women's tanning salon and yell ""FIRE!"""

"I'm having an introvert party and you're all not invited."

"When I was born I was given two choices: The first was to have a perfect memory, and the other was to have a huge penis. Unfortunately, I can't remember which one I chose."