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Joke of the Day

"[BOOK CLUB] ME: So last weeks assignment was Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. What did everyone think? STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:"

"As a Harry Potter fan, I dream of going to Hogwarts. My friend is a Narnia fan, and he's always wanted to go to Narnia. My other friend is a Hunger Games fan, but he's good."

"Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years."

"I would walk 500 miles just to be the man who gets to eat these donuts."

"what do you call a hooker with a runny nose? full."

"Hey Google, if I'm searching for ""herpes symptoms"" then no, no I'm not ""feeling lucky."""

"I think it's adorable when kids lose their teeth, they look like tiny meth addicts."

"I clicked ""Going"" on a Facebook event last week but now I feel like staying in... *masked tough guys throw me in a van* ""You committed, pal"""

"A man walks a little girl into the woods at night. The girl begins to tremble and says, ""I'm scared."" ""You're scared,"" the man replies abrasively, ""I have to walk out of here by myself."""

"What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away."