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Joke of the Day

"If you're wearing a cowboy outfit... Does that mean you're ranch dressing?"

"What did the baby computer say to his father? Data!"

"What's the difference between Shea Stadium and Sloan-Kettering? At Sloan-Kettering the Mets always win."

"What if animals ""were"" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits? Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry."

"Why couldn't the quadrilateral comb out her daughters hair? Because it was a wrecked tangle"

"Did you hear about the party thief? I mean I've seen some crazy people at parties, but this guy definitely takes the cake."

"My grandmother would roll over. My grandmother would roll over in her trench if she knew how much I spent on her funeral."

"Why are all jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women will not touch anything unless it is 10% off."

"What's the difference between a girlfriend and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't go apeshit and stalk me for years when I put a couple of loads in it."

"A cop pulled me over and said ""papers"" I said ""scissors, I win!"" and drove off."