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Joke of the Day

"My favorite part of deleting your history... ...is when you can still go to the previous page."

"Jupit. Jupiter. Jupitest."

"You should always stay the night with a farmer's daughter... Their morning routine begins with a cock in their ear."

"*stops by new neighbor* Welcome, I brought you a cake! -Wow, thank you! You know, you didn't have to do that! Oh, ok. *walks away with cake*"

"Justin Bieber gets 40,000 retweets just for tweeting 'Hello', so here's my attempt: Hele0iM1. Ah, harder than it looks. Fair play to him."

"""Sir you can't bring your dog onto the plane"" [labradoodle puts on tiny pilot hat] ""Omg captain I'm so sorry"""

"If you find yourself in a hole. Stop digging."

"Because of my thyroid condition, my parents made me join a support group as a kid. This one time, at gland camp..."

"A cow fell off a truck in Russia Apparently he hadn't been Put in properly."

"Will I. Am's headstone will read ""Will I. Was,"" completing history's longest set-up to a punchline"