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Joke of the Day

"Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper share the same middle name... coincidence?... I think not."

"It just occurred to me Trump's inauguration was cloudy. I guess the sun was another big star that refused to show."

"Parachute Jumping by Hugo Furst"

"How do you tell the difference between an African Elephant and an Asian Elephant? AIDS."

"Boss: You're not fired but we're taking away all your responsibilities. Me: Cool, a promotion! Boss: No-- Me: Sounds like a promotion to me."

"I searched for a Colt 45 Silencer online... Result: http://puu.sh/mXB3Y/129ff5c7f0.jpg P.S. If this is the wrong subreddit, let me know."

"My girlfriend said she wants me to make her feel like shes the only girl in the world. So i'm gonna drop her off in the desert and leave"

"I'm so sick of this debate. Of COURSE, the chicken came first! Are you saying I don't know how to properly fuck a chicken?"

"Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes"

"A farmer invested $10 million of his own money for a research on 'effects of Marijuana on cattle'. The steaks were high."