226133

Joke of the Day

"Apple Stock Apple's stock surges on announcement of two-child policy change in China"

"Heard if the Obama diet? Putin eats your lunch everyday..."

"Nobody likes the girl who brings the acoustic guitar guy to the party."

"What's the difference between a hobo crack addict and a millionaire crack addict? 99 dollars."

"Ate a bag of Sun chips and now I need 300 stitches in my mouth"

"""This sausage is the best!"" She said ""No,"" replied the German, ""it is the wurst!"""

"When everything else in life fails you, there's always Twitter."

"I want to walk into a donut shop and yell... ""FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLE-Y!"""

"What did the frog's girlfriend need when she was on her period? A lily pad."

"I went to the local swimming pool today... And I asked the receptionist, ""How much for 2 children?"" She replied, ""$9.50."" ""Awesome!"" I said. ""Do I get to choose or is it a lucky dip?"""