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Joke of the Day

"Looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7."

"Why do Irish stew recipes only call for 239 beans? Because one more, and it would be too-farty."

"Did you hear about the gay Irish couple? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald"

"*at a restaurant* Don't be awkward, don't be awkward Waitress: how's the food? Me: yes"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid $40 to watch a garbanzo bean.."

"I know you can't compare apples to oranges... ...but two apples do make a pear."

"I came back from holiday in India with a really heavy case of diarrhea... ...but they wouldn't let me take it through customs."

"I went to see my doctor to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up."

"Why is 77 better than 69? You get eight more"

"Dave: I don't want to sound stupid.... Me: Then stop right there and say nothing."