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Joke of the Day
"I told my therapist that I was hearing voices. He told me I didn't have a therapist."
Next Joke
"How do you make a Gorilla stew? You keep it waiting for three hours!"
"When Doves get married in a parallel universe they release screaming humans from the cage."
"""No more self-deprecating tweets,"" I whisper fatly."
"Men are like placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table."
"A couple split up over Christmas cause the man wanted a Playstation... Instead he got an ex-box"
"Facebook is like an Emotion Bank People deposit their feelings to save, but usually gain very little interest."
"An ear doctor gets a phone call from a patient and asks him to describe the symptoms. He says, ""they're yellow, Homer's fat and Marge has blue hair"". [Source](http://m.imgur.com/gallery/3axkvOQ)"
"If Tom Cruise had an intervention to an addiction... They should call it ""Cruise Control."""
"Saw a Justin Bieber CD taped to a wall. You better believe I took it, you never know when you will need a piece of tape."