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Joke of the Day

"ME: Hi I'd like to apply for a job as a contortionist ""When can you come in for an interview?"" ME: I'm flexible"

"Woah! Brian Williams' fly is wide open! Newsflash."

"I haven't been doing so well at the poop assembly line... My manager said if I don't pull my shit together soon I'll be fired."

"What's a ghost's favorite sexual act? Booooooooooooookake"

"I broke my arm in a couple places; know what the doctor said? ""Stay out of those places!"""

"Women should be like a well placed rug You should be able to lay them then leave them"

"i just bought a rape whistle... and the look on my victims faces is priceless."

"There's only one thing I remember from sexual harassment training. ""Harass"" is just one word."

"A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained: ""You can't park anywhere near this place!"""

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Because she was a woman"