222831

Joke of the Day

"Why do rpg characters like potions so much? Because they're always the life of the party!"

"Q: How does a blind skydiver know the ground is near? A: The leash goes slack."

"Boss: Are you high? Me: If I was high could I do this? B: What? You aren't doing anything M: sorry I'm super high. What was the question?"

"My son just chewed gum during his entire bath. I eagerly await a cease-and-desist order from Burt Reynolds's attorney."

"What is the longest word in the English language? Nina: What is the longest word in the English language? SoSA: SMILES: becoz there is a mile between the first and last letters!"" :P"

"I switched my kids to almond milk. Whenever people ask me if I think it's healthier I tell them ""Nah, I just got tired of them asking why their picture is on the back of the milk cartons."""

"My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?"

"Dear every hip hop artist: No, I don't know what you're saying. Maybe if you ask me another 36 times before the song is over."

"how can you make a blonde laugh on a Sunday? Tell her a joke Wednesday."

"I just finished reading Great Expectations. It wasn't all I hoped it would be."