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Joke of the Day

"That's so nice of Activia to offer a money back guarantee. Am I supposed to send them pictures of myself not shitting?"

"- You got so drunk last night, you were dancing on the table in your underwear!! - Me? In my underwear? You must have left early."

"Time flies when you throw clocks."

"What's the difference between a Brit and an American? The Brit got kicked out and the American did the kicking."

"(OL) What's the difference between a bucket of poop and a lawyer? A bucket."

"If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head."

"WORK TIP: Respond to all your boss's emails with ""Heyyyy you!"""

"Why do bees stay in their hive during Winter? Swarm."

"What does Bill Cosby eat for breakfast? Rapefruit"

"*uses blood from wounds to write my killer's name on the floor* I...will be...avenged. NO! BAD DOG! DON'T LICK THAT! DADDY NEEDS JUSTICE!"