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Joke of the Day

"Why is the grass in Anfield Stadium so green? They are constantly putting millions of pounds of crap on it."

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"Winter- Pros: Chestnuts roasting. Cons: Deez nuts freezing."
"What do you call a scary frog A creepy leapy"
"Where do Mexicans shop for books? Borders"
"A Woman was reading a book in bed and her Husband was about to turn in; ""Good night"" he said and turned off the lights, but the Woman kept on reading. How? eBooks......"
"What do you call a fly that literally can't even?"
"Based on my calculations I can retire about 5 years after I die."
"What did the fish say when he hit concrete? Dam(n)."
"This girl just posted a status on Facebook which said:""F*CKING PHONE!!!!!!!!!"" Apparently, ""Can I watch?"" is not an appropriate reply."
"How do aliens stay warm? Space heater."
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