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Joke of the Day

"I once dated a girl who said she was turned on by ""Black eyes"" So I punched her in the face. Turns out I heard her wrong."

"Why procrastinate today when you can procrastinate tomorrow?"

"An Asian man goes to the eye doctor and the doctor says ""Sir, I'm sorry to say but you have a Cataract""... The Asian man turns to the doctor and says ""No, I have uh Rincoln Continentar"""

"What is so brilliant with a Arabian blow-up doll? They blow themselves up."

"How do we know Paul Walker had dandruff? We found his Heads & Shoulders in the glove box."

"I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them."

"If you lose one senses, your other senses become stronger. That's why people without a sense of humour have such a high sense of self importance"

"If you name a baby Barbara, the baby turns 50 years old immediately."

"What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Trying to fit in."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped snow white"