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Joke of the Day

"I once dated a girl who said she was turned on by ""Black eyes"" So I punched her in the face. Turns out I heard her wrong."

"*throws a rock at a bird* Me [writing in ""science"" journal]: birds don't like rocks."

"Have you guys heard about that singer that does radical maneuvers while performing? Skate Perry"

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of paws and the other has a pause at the end of clause"

"Why did the alcoholic chop off the little boy's legs? He wanted his *Kidneys*."

"Alright, alright. You can all have jet packs! [two days later] Reporter: Another 8000 dead today due to sky rage."

"I knew a guy who had 5 penises. His pants fit like a glove."

"What do you call 16 white girls in a room? One whole Cherokee"

"I told Leonardo DiCaprio a joke about the Oscars... He didn't get it."

"I met a girl at a club the other night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds."