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Joke of the Day

"Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day."

"What screams, wails, and lights up? A bus-load of babies on fire."

"Pick up line for fat chicks ""Hey girl, put down that cupcake, you're already too sweet."""

"Somebody has stolen my Microsoft office But I will find them. You have my Word."

"""NO HOMO"" i scream at my dog Homo as he shits on the carpet"

"How do landscapers keep their seams from ripping? Well let me tell you; They don't beat around the bush! They nip it in the bud and use Hem-Lock!"

"INTERN 1: 6 in the Oval Office INTERN 2: 4 in the Roosevelt Room INTERN 3: 1 in the Lincoln Bedroom BIDEN: Okay, let's go catch some Pokemon"

"I raped someone so hard in a LoL match last night but forgot to record it It's ok. Found it on Pornhub."

"Can secretaries really write memos with both their left and right hands at the same time? Or is that just stereotyping."

"What's up with these strippers not taking my singles??? They must not like Kraft"