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Joke of the Day

"I told my mom I wanted to become a stand up comedian. She laughed."

"Toilets can be so full of shit sometimes."

"How can you tell if an elephant has been in the fridge? There are footprints in the butter"

"What is the Hamburglar's favorite David Bowie song? Rebel Rebel!"

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but ... I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"A psychic midget has escaped from prison Yes, we have a small medium at large."

"Mike Tyson's biggest problem was he never had a strong male role model growing up. Mike's dad walked out on the family very early on, after Mike raped him."

"I had a really funny joke... but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime"

"Today is my birthday, and my lesbian neighbors decided to gift me a Rolex. I don't think they quite understood when I said ""I wanna watch""."

"My mom says I procrastinate... But I'll deal with that later"