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Joke of the Day

"So I decided to submit a joke about Ned Stark's head [Removed]"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill a Latvian? None."

"What did Steven hawking say when he first got his wheelchair? I can't stand being in this"

"I now win almost every argument with my zombie girlfriend I just give her a little piece of my mind!"

"Why did God give women yeast infections? That way they know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt."

"And now I spend the rest of the day worrying about whether or not I removed the sticker from the apple I just ate."

"Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head."

"""Will you just be doing simple abductions? Do you need soundproofing? Shackle package?"" - van salesman"

"If you want to know if a girl is into you, look at her feet. If they point away from you she's not interested, if they're behind her ears she's very interested."

"What do you call a fat psychic ? A four-chin teller."