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Joke of the Day

"If it weren't for marriage, women would have to spend most of their adult lives arguing with complete strangers."

"Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies"

"What did the newly paroled French prisoner name his restaurant? Attempted Crepe"

"My kid's teacher told me my kid is obsessed with video games and that I need to work with her on it. I'm like I do. I'm player 2."

"What do Mexicans put under their carpet? UNDERLAY! UNDERLAY!"

"I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"Its thanksgiving, and I am thankful for my dog, my boobies, and my life. Happy thanksgiving to you and your boobies."

"I don't know what to think of mountain-climbing. It has it's ups and downs."

"just applied for health insurance & boy r my arms tired! *quote goes up to $330/month* noooo it was a joke I'm a jokeman on Twitter *$3000*"

"Three men walk into a bar... The fourth one ducks."