219863

Joke of the Day

"What do you call fruits that aren't allowed to marry? [OC] Cantaloupes."

"I saw a man at the beach yelling, ""Help, Shark! Help!"" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"rroses are red, violets are blue, Valentine's Day was invented by big corporations so they could sell more anti-depressants"

"A man walks in on his wife, an English professor, having sex with his buddy. Honey! How could you! Well.. I'm surprised! She responds: *I'm* surprised. *you* are *astonished*."

"My dad never really loved me as a child I can't really blame him though ; I wasn't born until he was an adult."

"Why was the mathematician detained at the airport? Because he planned to blow up a plane."

"Reddit is down? Now where will 9gag get all of its content?"

"Little Girl: mom, I want to be an alligator when I grow up Mom: well, pick one. You can't be...acghhghh! Stop eating me! Aghhghhh...ah..a...bleh."

"Did you hear about the Pharaoh getting kicked out of the Grammy's? I guess that's what happens when you toot on Common."

"Ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? No? Well, they must be hiding pretty good"