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Joke of the Day

"going to the doctors Doctor: You have hepatitis B Patient: Damn, what kind of hepatitis, though?"

"I should sell this house, the rooms spin when I drink vodka."

"What did the old fly say to the young fly? I've seen a lot of shit!"

"Yo mama so ugly She got fired from a blowjob"

"I remember this one time I ran out of gas. It was pretty scary. Almost dark. I was all alone. I mean it was a lawnmower, but still."

"How do you drown a hipster? Drag him into the mainstream."

"I'm the designated driver so it's mini bottles in the restroom for me"

"You're not an American until you've eaten more than the serving suggestion."

"Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights."

"""Hey Russell, You Want to Win Another Super Bowl?"" Wilson: ""Nah, I'll pass."" Just saw this on Facebook."