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Joke of the Day

"What starts with ""F"" and ends with ""UCK""? ""Firetruck"" ...What were you thinking? What starts with ""P"" and ends with ""ORN""? ""Popcorn"" ..What were you thinking?"

"I'm selling my talking parrot..... Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me."

"Why didn't the Orange want to be eaten? Because he wasn't feeling appealing."

"During conversation, a guy mispronounces a physicist's name. Upon realizing this, he apologizes profusely. The physicist says, ""It's Feynman."""

"My girlfriend asked me if I liked getting pissed on..... I said,""yes."" She said,""urine for a treat."""

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Without a penis"

"My husband got his hand stuck in the dishwasher. So of course I had to fire her."

"A Mexican athlete finally got a medal at the Olympics. The police are still searching for him."

"Why are quantum physicists so bad at sex? Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position."

"More than ever, now is the perfect time to cast Patrick Swayze in the sequel Ghost 2."