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Joke of the Day

"I just want to give a shoutout to my legs. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am today."

"My friend was raped by a teenager mutant ninja turtle. He wasn't wearing a mask, so we don't know which one did it."

"The Socratic method of deductive reasoning walks into a bar and the bartender says ""So. What don't you want?"""

"Anatomy joke What muscle is most responsible for lateral rotation of the neck? The gluteus maximus"

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't ""budge-it""."

"look son, i kinda need you to go to hong kong & win a martial arts tournament to the death for me because i sorta told my neighbor you did"

"Why do thugs play basketball? Because it teaches them to shoot, run and steal."

"Bad sign. My fortune cookie just said, ""Abdominal cramps""."

"Why did the tennis player get thrown out of his workshop? He was making a racket."

"Why was the farmer disappointed when he tried to marry his prized melon? Because the minister wouldn't marry the two, since a melon can't elope!"