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Joke of the Day

"I got a new piercing I flopped my cock out in front of a girl last night and said ""do you like my new piercing??"" After a few seconds she replied "" where's the piercing then?"" I said ""in my ear"""

"Why are there no stray dogs in China? Have you heard of stray chickens?"

"A Russian goes for an eye check up The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY Doctor: Can you read this ? Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin."

"Two lawyers walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke had for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope"

"What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow? A moo-slim."

"Look you asked me to be your child's Godfather so don't get pissed at me because I taught him how to break knees and collect debts."

"What sound does a bomb make before it goes off? allahu ackbar!!"

"Pretty cool how your dreams went from ""Astronaut"" or ""Doctor"" to ""What's the lowest I can get to pass this course"""