218636

Joke of the Day

"I got kicked out of the library for putting a ""Women's Rights"" book in the the fiction section."

"I tried to find out why my cat kept licking itself... turns out its actually quite tasty."

"you know when a kid calls their stepmom by their first name? we should weaponize that"

"I like mixing laxatives and nitrous oxide on a regular basis, but it's OK... ...I only do it for shits and giggles."

"What do you call an angry terrorist? Amin Amood"

"I was sitting across the bus today from a very sexy Thai girl...and I kept saying to myself ""Don't get an erection , Don't get an erection""....But she did"

"My own Mother called me a 'Son of a Bitch'. Then she told me I was adopted :("

"Roses are red, Violets are blue... I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast!"

"Nancy Grace just called pot smokers ""fat and lazy"". Right. Unlike the buff marathon runners home 4 o'clock on a Monday watching your show."

"Why is Tina Fey so good with her use of irony? It's in the name..."