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Joke of the Day

"What's white, located in washington and has a president within it? Monica Lewinsky's teeth."

"People say that I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people."

"Why did Marie Antoinette travel the world? Where else would she beheaded?"

"What is the river of negation called? The Nile"

"What I say: I'm on a diet. What my mom hears: please cook delicious food and buy chocolate."

"I think my scale is broken. It only ever goes up."

"I walked into a locker room today, and saw a bunch of members of Donald Trump's new administration standing around completely nude... ... I've never seen so many Goldman sacks!"

"My new wifi password: Whatsawifi Enter DWMC-esque dude/sweet scene."

"So, did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"How much money does the Treasurer of the United States make? All of it."