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Joke of the Day

"How many pepes does it take to change a lightbulb? One."

"me folding laundry: ugh another sock is missing puppet on my hand: how does that keep happening"

"[on a date with a caribou as a favor to my sister] me: so...did you like the movie? caribou: *knocks over candy display & tramples 3 kids*"

"Q: ""Hey Dad, how was your business trip to Southeast Asia?"" A: ""Terrible son. In fact, It was downright Laosy"""

"Leo: *names his child Oscar* Doctor: ""Would you like to hol-"" Leo: ""Say it like we rehearsed it."" Doctor: *sighs* ""And the Oscar goes to..."""

"If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a Nickelback. I'll let myself out."

"A banana went to see the doctor and was like ""doc I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm just not peeling well"""

"What is worse, ignorance or indifference? I don't know and I don't care"

"Why is Jewish apple cake Jewish? Because it's baked in an oven..."

"If you want to stop a bad habit... eat a cyanide capsule"