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Joke of the Day

"In Russia, Jesus finds you."

"What can relax you and drown you at the same time? A one-hour facial."

"Sometimes love is like having one too many drinks....you feel so good that you don't notice you're making a fool of yourself."

"Why is Ian Thorpe gay? He didn't like breast stroke."

"Two prostitutes are talking about their clients... One of them says ""So yesterday I had this client who had a dick like my leg!"", the other replies ""Impossible - no man has a dick that's that dirty""."

"What is the difference between Digg and Reddit? People can Voat."

"If a person told you they were a pathological liar, should you believe them?"

"me: [gets on one knee] GF: [gasps] me: [reaches into pocket] GF: OMG me: [pulls phone out] don't move there's a Pokemon on your foot"

"I was going to get my certification to be an official Life Coach!... ...but I just never really got around to it."

"What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss? I literally cannot deal."