215787
Joke of the Day
"What's a philosophers favorite toy? Plato"
Next Joke
"Sorry I faked a seizure at your party but my phone's battery dropped to 10%, you wouldn't stop talking and I had to go so I could charge it."
"Why do sandwiches never have kids? Because they always turn out in-bread."
"Why is post college life so easy for Lannisters? Because a Lannister always pays his debts."
"A man rings your internet doorbell.. Says: ""Can you spare 5 minutes to talk about Bernie Sanders?"""
"Nice shoes. Where'd you get them? Him: ... *peeks under bathroom stall* Did you hear me?"
"That awkward moment when you see someone that you've been texting all day and you have nothing to say because you already know everything."
"A missionary noticed a particularly happy cannibal Missionary: Joe, you look unusually cheery today. CannibalJoe: Today wife gave me head"
"One time I stayed in a relationship three months longer than I should've because the person had a flattering mirror in their apartment"
"Why did the man that drank 10 cups of poisoned Lipton not die? He drank so much poison it built his immuni-tea."