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Joke of the Day
"Don't worry, Donald Trump will declare bankruptcy and start a new country."
Next Joke
"I got tired of resetting all my clocks after all the power outages this week. Today I woke up at the crack of random, blinking time o'clock."
"I always try to compliment people, even if it's just, ""Wow, I've never seen clothes worn like that before."" or ""You have a dope overbite."""
"What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Ten-ish"
"Remember, it's not a real paleo diet unless you're eating mammoth every day."
"My wife just opened my car door for me. Would have been a nice gesture had we not been going 70mph."
"I have just became a proud father! :) My son's actually just turned 4, but he was an annoying little cunt for the first 3 years."
"Judge: ""Reason for divorce?"" Me: ""Reconcilable differences."" Judge: ""Don't you mean irreconcilable?"" Me: ""Ugh. You sound just like her."""
"My trainer suggested I get a tennis ball to message my back. I got it, but it just sits there. How do you make it go?"
"Funny one liner:what is mean by Assasination There is a girl in my office.she has a kickass ass. she kills me with her ass...hope now u know,how the word 'Assasination' came into existence.."