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Joke of the Day

"Why did the perv leave? Because he came."

"What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual! Two Languages? Bilingual! Only one language? Americans~"

"How do you get a blonde on your roof? Tell her drinks are on the house."

"Policeman: I suppose you're going to tell me you weren't speeding. Motorist: I was speeding all right but I was testing you to see if you were paying attention."

"Why do the Romans use more eggs in their omelets than the French? Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many ovum. But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef."

"I have this condition, I wake up at ten to nine every day... Doctor says it is nothing serious just a mild case of ten-to-ninetis."

"""How about... we change the 6 to a 7?"" ""I love it!"" --board meeting at the company that makes novelty sunglasses for New Year's Eve"

"My boss just asked me why I wasn't working.. ..i told em cuz I didn't see him coming"

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the kids? Easy on the candy!"

"What is the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian? One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker."