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Joke of the Day

"How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing? Asbestos he can. I'm so sorry."

"I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there."

"A Triceratops was recently found frozen in the ice... ... upon closer inspection it turned out to be a tricicle."

"How did the nucleus escape from prison? Through the cell wall. I'm sorry. This was just too wonderful to resist sharing."

"So today I ripped off my testicles... I didn't want to risk creating any GMOs in the future."

"I don't support the gay lifestyle in San Francisco It's way too expensive there. They should move to somewhere a lot cheaper so they can save more money."

"I went to the library and asked if they had any books on Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog. The librarian said that they may or may not have it, but that it rings a bell."

"I don't have any good science related jokes to tell Because most of the good jokes argon"

"You can't watch porn on the new iphone They took the jack off."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? He doesn't want anyone to know he's fucking a chicken."