214091

Joke of the Day

"Guinness Book of World Records should be in the Guinness Book of World Records as being the book with the most world records."

"PILLOW: Hey, your anniversary is today, go buy her some flowers ME: Wow, thank God for memory foam"

"If there is a God, he created balls and wanted them to look like that, so that's weird."

"I'm gonna be honest with you... Particle accelerators give me a hadron."

"Just slammed 12 wheatgrass shots now everyone at Whole Foods is trying to take my keys"

"A priest walks up to a rabbi and says . . . ""Been in any good jokes lately?"""

"If my dick were a card... (x-post from r/hearthstone) ...It'd have overload because you can't take it all at once."

"I decided to play agar.io again... Now I hate my cellf"

"If Jason Bateman had a servant... Would his servant call him Master Bateman?"

"A joke told by the mods of this sub. ""Long"""