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Joke of the Day

"After you're done looking for true love on Twitter, you should go ride a unicorn around Atlantis, then eat some heart-healthy ice cream."

"How do the Chinese name their children They drop silverware in the sink and listen to the sound it makes"

"I'll buy the magic mushrooms, fireballs and flying raccoons but a Princess dating an Italian plumber?"

"Get in the van! me?...*winks* OK, It will be unpleasant, but worth it- hey! Where are you going?! *jogs after van*"

"What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and Jesus himself? You only need one nail to hang a picture of Jesus."

"What do you call a group of gay cavemen? Homo erectus."

"A gay black guy, a Jewish midget and a gypsy jump off the Empire State Building at the same time. Who hits the ground first? Who gives a shit?"

"Smart man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage"

"What do I say when my favorite spice knocks on the door? Cumin!"

"I came home and noticed my dishwasher was missing So I asked my kids what happened. Apparently she left me 3 days ago."