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Joke of the Day

"*Takes gift wrapping paper to the counter* Her: Did you want to buy that? Me: No, I just wanted to hold it for a while."

Next Joke
 
"I tried finding work as a Saudi executioner... ...but I couldn't get ahead."
"My wife mentioned that she couldn't remember if she took her anti-anxiety medication. I asked if she was worried about it?"
"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream got shot!"
"I get so pissed off when the 'Dawson's Creek' theme song doesn't suddenly play in the background while I'm having a magical moment."
"Life Advice Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."
"Barkeep. Send a drink over to little ms. thang over there. Tell her it's from me Sir, that's a Ms. Pac-Man machine *raises glass, winks*"
"Rabbits... Rabbits bang like there's no fucking tomorrow."
"I've just been in the garden with my stepladder Not my real ladder, I don't get on with him"
"I accidentally gave my wife superglue instead of Chapstick She's still not talking to me."