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Joke of the Day

"The dyslexic devil worshiper... sold his soul to Santa."

"Did I ever tell you about how I once dated a stripper named Cake? She always used to let me have it and eat it, too."

"[Married pillow-talk] Husband: What's your deepest fantasy? Me: That when our kids eat dinner they don't leave any crumbs under the table."

"I wanna see Jurassic World, but I hear extincts."

"Running your mouth is not cardio."

"An autistic girl asked me out today And I said yes. I guess you could say I like girls that are down for everything"

"[police lineup] VICTIM: That's him! The dopey fat guy in the middle. COP: We haven't started yet. That's your own reflection in the glass."

"A horse walks into a French bar... ...and the barman says, ""I'm afraid you will have to leave, Monsieur Horse. We do not serve food in here."""

"What is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes a woman crazy? $100 bill."

"Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A. Ruth-less."