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Joke of the Day

"I bet The Flintstones make those guys at PETA furious."

"What does a rapist wear to feel sexy? Cologne."

"Love is like peeing yourself everyone can see but only you feel the warmth."

"I'm more optimistic than most. Some say the glass is half empty, some would say it's half full. I'd say ""Hey, That's a nice glass!"""

"If anyone's seen me at my best, and seen me at my worse, and still accepts me for who I am, it's definitely the liquor store."

"Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho cheese."

"FIREMAN: this blaze is out of control ME: sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire F: what? No M: *already brandishing a flamethrower*"

"What did the right pussy lip tell the left pussy lip? We used to be tight"

"I used to rub my hair together when I was stressed... But now I'm dreading the consequences."

"Heard a great joke at work today. Now if only I could remember it."