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Joke of the Day

"I started breeding pygmy malamutes, and I gave one to my SO, but they left me before they saw the puppy. All I said was, ""Hey, you're getting a little husky."""

"What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me, I'm going in.."

"Why didn't Jesus start a charity? Cuz they're not for prophets."

"The difference between a seesaw and a catapult? An overweight friend."

"Somebody has stolen my Microsoft office But I will find them. You have my Word."

"What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff? Ford was my best friend."

"why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? Because you shouldn't press your luck."

"What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back."

"A Lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar! The Barman says ""I'm serving narnia"""

"[loudly so dad who's been depressed since mom left can hear] Oh no, my GPS broke! If only I had some good DRIVING DIRECTIONS *dad looks up*"