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Joke of the Day

"Boyfriend: you want to go see the new Star Wars? Me: I LOVE STAR WARS BF: which was your fav Me: duh, Sorcerer's Stone"

"No one wants to be the sofa king But they all think they're sofa king funny."

"I put coffee in my aquarium filter. The water wasn't any cleaner, but the fish swam REALLY FAST."

"Why do rednecks love Halloween? (NSFW) Because they love to pump kin."

"How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan? Take away their little brooms!"

"Gas is so cheap right now, I just buy a new car when I run out."

"Why did Ally refuse to do her homework, when all she had left was to square the x and y axis? Cause Allies don't like axis powers"

"Kate on Facebook can't believe the ordacity of some people. I can't believe the audacity of people who use big words that they can't spell."

"Embrace her crazy and she'll love you forever or until she kills you, whichever comes first"