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Joke of the Day

"When I die My only wish is that I die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling for help like the passengers in his car."

Next Joke
 
"[phone rings] Mum: your grandad isn't well. I'm afraid he's on his deathbed Me: well tell him to get in a different bed then"
"Time to diet. Went to the neighborhood pool today and all the women dressed me with their eyes..."
"Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant. Wife: Why Arent You Taking Me With You To Bangkok? Husband: Because Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant. ""If U Didn't Get It Go Watch Pogo"":p"
"Meta Knight walks into a restaurant... There is no counter."
"What is Stevie Wonder's favorite guitar chord? C Minor"
"The government is so screwed up and dysfunctional, I'm amazed I haven't tried to date it yet"
"What did Dr Dre cook for Thanksgiving? Beats."
"Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac? Because they take things literally."
"A bought my girlfriend bondage supplies as a gag gift She was at a loss for words"