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Joke of the Day
"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render buildings on the other side."
Next Joke
"that awkward moment when you stub your toe and accidentally summon the spirits of a thousand dead feet while you yell and curse"
"A priest and a rabbi leave a bar ..., and see a ten year old boy. The priest says ""Let's screw him!"" and the rabbi says ""Out of what?"""
"A man walks in for a blood donation. The nurse asks ""Are you sexually active?"" The man replies ""Wouldn't that be rather awkward with us both sitting here?"""
"Unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade is gonna suck."
"Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ? Pupil: 12 - 2nd January 2nd February...!"
"What did the Russian man say to the boy after he did nice for someone? That was *Cher-i-nobyl* of you"
"Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks."
"[ping pong] ME: 3 to 2, my serve JESUS: M: can I have the ba- J: the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve M: [exhales] every time"
"Protestants sing every verse to every hymn. Catholics know this. We think about it when we get to the bakery 20 minutes ahead of you."