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Joke of the Day

"In my trunk is a tire iron, a box of human hair, and a bottle of Grey Goose. I'm always prepared for an impromptu crime scene tampering."

"Why do people traveling east out of Sweden get a metal? Because they're crossing the Finnish line."

"My friend is a professional sleep-walker. He's just livin the dream."

"Women hate to be stereotyped. .. They're all like that."

"Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out? On the Yeast Side."

"A gentleman is ... a man who gets out of the shower to take a pee"

"If I have 5 apples and I give you 2 of them, just take the other 3 cause I'm going out for tacos"

"Why don't women drink beer at the beach? Because they'll get sand in their Schlitz."

"Attention Walmart Shoppers - There is someone dressed Appropriately in Aisle 12"

"A horse walks into a bar, orders a beer. The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" And the horse answers, ""They've started a round of layoffs at the plant."""