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Joke of the Day
"*girl rests her head on my shoulder* -Are you flexing? -No"
Next Joke
"Make sure your blind date from the internet has a big car. Nothing worse than a trunk with no leg room."
"Why are E.T.'s eyes so big? He saw the phone bill."
"I am trying to find my selfie image in iPhone 7 Until I remember I took that one with John Cena."
"Build a man a fire, and you'll keep him warm for a night. Light a man on fire, and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life."
"What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A hoarse horse!"
"[NSFW] If you're born with a penis you're a boy, a vagina, you're a girl, but...... If your born with a couple of cunts for parents then you're probably gender neutral"
"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus!"
"I love how people act like they don't want to be followed in the street yet they keep looking back at you to see if you're still there."
"I don't like the idea of bacteria in my yogurt so I mix it with hand sanitizer. It cuts down on the taste, but I sleep better at night."