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Joke of the Day

"Why did Jimmy drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus!"

"I love self depricating humor Its another thing that wont love me back"

"Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria's Secret when I can hold your boobs up all day for free."

"How do you starve a Socialist? You hide their food stamps under their work boots. Edit; Thank you /u/DoctorBrohoof for my first gold!"

"My teenaged daughter just asked me how to spell U2. Fingers crossed for that athletic scholarship."

"All I did was compliment a coworker on their fantastic mustache, and now I'm in HR's office. Thanks a lot, Megan!"

"Hey babe i wanted to marry you but i had to ask your dad first and he said yes so i guess i'm marrying your dad"

"I bought some Velcro shoes so that nobody can make fun of my velcro wallet anymore because now they will match"

"I'm on hold and My call is important to them."

"What does OSU and Ronda Rousey have in common? They were both undefeated until the final kick."