208359
Joke of the Day
"Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope? The knife just wasn't cutting it."
Next Joke
"Have you found them? ""Not yet, sir."" THEY'RE MUTANT TURTLES THAT DO KARATE. HOW HARD COULD IT BE? ""They wear tiny masks, sir."""
"What did one businessmen voyeur say to the other? I'll have my peephole call your peephole."
"All I've learned from reading Yelp reviews is that everyone's a tiny little tyrant who thinks they're the most important person in the world"
"College Jesus Jesus opens the fridge, one of his roommates asks: ""is it wine yet"". Jesus says no it says 'still water'"
"I just read an article in the newspaper about how 60% of adults still live with their parents. I was like ""OMG Mum did you read this???"""
"How long does it take for stormtroopers to obey Kylo Ren? Just the First Order."
"They say a blowjob makes your day... ...but anal makes your whole week."
"[rap battle] Opponent: *crushes it* Me: Oh, I... umm. I thought this was something else... *hastily hides plastic wrap behind back*"
"What is brown and rhymes with Snoop Dr. Dre"