207745

Joke of the Day

"Where do astronauts leave their spaceships ? At parking meteors !"

"Dear coffee, I want you inside of me"

"If Chris Redfield worked pest control... It would be called Resident Weavile."

"My first time doing standup was a lot like my first time having sex. I finished way too early and when it was over I couldn't stop apologizing."

"What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds? One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money."

"How much Blow Can Charlie Sheen Do?.. ..... Enough to kill 2 and 1/2 Men"

"What's the difference between a Pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A Pickpocket snatches watches."

"What is a Polish person's favorite weapon? A Warsaw..."

"Um, doctor? This degree on your wall is from Whatsamatta U. I don't think that's a... Doctor: *looking at x-rays* MY GOD! YOU HAVE NO SKIN!"

"According to HR, the boss can come into my office eating a kebab when I've only had an apple for lunch but I can't throw my chair at him"